I want to start this out with a brief definition of “Pum Pum.” According to http://www.urbandictionary.com the definition of Pum Pum is
Pum Pum (pronounced Poom Poom)
(noun) 1. Jamaican term for the female sexual organ
e.g. “Mi haffi get pum pum tonight.”
I’ll use the word pum pum in this post in replace of “bush,” “vagina,” “pubic hair,” and/or “va-jay-jay” etc. Its my favorite word for my goodies introduced to me by Karina from Lush360 (my bff).
If you are offended easily you may want to stop reading at this point. I am here to talk about maintaining your pum pum hair. Its going to get ugly and somewhat vulgar…but nonetheless VERY entertaining and informative. 🙂 I also solemnly swear to not post pictures of my own pum pum (or anyone else’s)!
My mom never gave me a speech about maintaining my pum pum hair (I don’t think many moms would ever think to give this speech), so my objective is to educate women about your options in maintaining the pum pum hair. It dawned on me one day many years ago that some girls may not know how to take care of their hair down there. True Story Alert: My friend’s husband was watching soft porn in his bedroom. My 2 girlfriends and I entered the room (with little shock of his viewing choices) and my girlfriend Tanya (fake name used for privacy) was appalled to see the actress on the movie had no hair on her pum pum. Tanya exclaimed, “how old is that girl? Why does she not have hair down there!” I had to first laugh….”poor Tanya,” I thought (as my bff said “she probably had a forest down there!”). Then it was my time to give Tanya the business! “Tanya, what do you mean??” I asked very seriously, “You have to trim and take care of your pum pum hair!” Tanya blushed and started to giggle. Honest to God people, Tanya had never heard of any such thing. As I told Tanya you have a few different options depending on you or your partner’s preference. You can leave some hair on the pum pum in a styled design and short fashion, you can go bare, or you can leave most of the hair there (in the normal triangular shape) just making sure to keep it short and shaving or waxing the bikini line (similar to a standard bikini wax). I know in this day of age, Tanya was a bit naive; however I need to make sure you all know your choices in this matter.
Pum Pum hair design is ALL the rage. There are MANY different shapes you can sport. The most popular style for pum pum hair is the Brazilian Wax. This is when all of your hair is removed except a very thin strip down the center. Now don’t be turned off by the term “wax.” If you are comfortable having a esthetician see you without your undies and can afford it, most full service salons offer the Brazilian wax. There is a cheaper option though with my recommendation products at the bottom. Other popular (and unusual) shapes you can create with your pum pum hair is the landing strip (a thick line down the center of the pum pum, not as drastic as the Brazilian), the lightning bolt (your pum pum will be electrifying!), the heart (for the “love below”), the arrow (which would be the same as the landing strip but with an arrow head at the bottom, could also be an instruction manual for men), and the diamond (self explanatory).
Next, there is the removal of ALL of the hair on your pum pum. This may make you feel pre-pubescent, but don’t feel insecure! Many women opt to be completely bare down there. You can do this via wax if you can take the pain (you should have a high tolerance for pain to try it). You’ll want to schedule a Brazilian wax with your local salon then ask for the full removal of all hair. Good luck. I once tried to give myself a brazilian wax and I couldn’t continue due to the pain..it was a bitch to get all of the wax off because I was too much of a weakling to rip the strip. If you want to opt for wax, see a professional. 🙂 A less painful/cheaper option for this is instructed below.
Finally, you can have your standard bikini wax. This leaves your pum pum in the classic triangle shape with a clean bikini line. Make sure to keep the hair trimmed to a very short length (think a men’s buzz cut or for the hair to be no longer then 1/2 of the length of a grain of rice). Again the wax won’t be required, its time for cheaper alternatives to the salon!
Instructions for Pum Pum Hair Removal (**Note that I do not have a degree in PumPum Hair Removal, if you are not comfortable with the following suggestions-don’t try them. I am broke and cannot be held liable for any mishaps involving a razor and your pum pum)
1. Don’t ever try to remove all of the hair “down there” with just a razor.
2. An easy, effective and quick way to remove your pum pum hair is with a beard trimmer. First make sure to trim your hair with haircutting shears if you are like Tanya and it is long (be very careful with the shears!! Don’t cut according to image in the mirrors, look down at your pum pum in real time..LOL). You don’t want your beard trimmer to get caught or broke if you are a sasquatch down there. After the trim you can begin with your beard trimmer to remove as little or as much hair as you want! Do not be nervous using the beard trimmer, I have used one for years and have never had cuts. Any beard trimmer will work, the Remington brand sold at Target is my favorite. They have models that range from $12.99 to 24.99. The beard trimmer may leave little stubble so the next step may be required.
3. Pick a good shaving lotion, my recommendation would be Nude Shaving Lotion (at $9.00) from the “Suprise Party Brand” Dab the shaving lotion on the desired rough spots and run your standard razor over the desired area (be very careful). Your pum pum will turn out perfectly smooth!
4. Stencils for pum pum hair designs are available for $9.99 on the following site: www.feathertouchshaver.com
5. At $89 you can purchase an entire care pum pum hair kit, I have not personally used this kit, but you can visit the following website for more information http://www.haircaredownthere.com/
6. Pum Pum hair dyes are ALSO now available. Isn’t that something? When I googled, “Pubic Hair Dye” many options came up at reasonable prices. I guess pink pum pum hair is very in!
****The members of Lush 360 wanted to invent a pum pum maintenance kit. To our dismay it was already created. *****
I hope this was as fun for you to read as it was for me to write. I also suggest viewing Playboys or Penthouse magazines for ideas or inspiration on the end result you are looking for. This will give you some live pictures to review so you don’t think I’m bluffing. Also, if you are married and got lazy and decided to stop shop on your pum pum….get back in gear! (Your poor husband..or lover). Keep the pum pum classy ladies and have a great week.
Please stayed tuned for my next blog about Pum Pum Cleanliness. I have some insightful views from my guy friends including a great story of my best guy friend buying powders and cleansers for his girlfriend’s pum pum because he couldn’t stand the odor (he gets an E for Effort). See if they stayed together or broke up because of a stinky pum pum. There is also an odor test men do on your pum pum that you might not be aware of.
If you have any question regarding this blog, please feel free to contact the Lush360 email address. Pum Pum Power
Filed under: Girl Talk | Tagged: bikini, brazilian wax, budget, bush, cleanliness, dye, goodies, grooming, hair down there, hair kit, hair removal, landing strip, nude shaving lotion, private parts, pubic hair, pum pum, razor, sexual organ, shave, shears, stencils, Trends, trimmers, vagina, wax |