You Can’t Change Him or Her…

55991495

My ex brought out the worst in me. In his defense, I was also a nut-job when I dated him. I was insecure and brought out the worst in him too. We weren’t right for each other, but we still spent 5 years trying to change each other. Towards the end of our relationship, it just wasn’t there anymore. Not only was I growing up, but it was an “a-ha” moment for me (Oprah reference). The ex was not the person who I was supposed to end up with….and it wasn’t because he was mean or a jerk; it was because I couldn’t change him and he couldn’t change me.We weren’t ourselves with each other, we didn’t like who the other person was. It sounds harsh, but I didn’t think he was evil or anything. Granted, we went through some pretty f-ed up times and he hurt me a lot (and I hurt him too). I think, looking back….that we were both responsible for those times. We were young…and when it was all said and done, I learned a great lesson.

I spent 5 years with someone during an important time of growth. From 15-20 years old, I was hiding the real me to please someone else.   I ditched out on girls night out, family time, highschool activities, concerts, dating other boys because Continue reading

GNO’s…A Must

GNO=Girl’s Night Out

Whether your single, dating, engaged, married, divorced, widowed, or a parent, you gotta keep up with your GNO’s. There was a time in my life where I did not value these gatherings with my girls and what a sad time this was.

I was insecure, lonely, & seclusive. I only worried about spending time with my ex becuase it was that “type” of relationship. In 2001 all of that changed. I was 20 years old and had gotten back in touch with some of my old friends from highschool (the very friends I write this blog with). While I had other GNO’s before, there was something about this year that changed me (for the better). Our first GNO was to Club One in a seedy area of Chicago. This night ended up being one of the most memorable nights of my life. We weren’t yet 21, but we are on a mission to look our best and dance our asses off! That we did. The club was like a highschool gym, but they played music we loved and we enjoyed the company of each other. By the end of the night we went back to Faby’s car and realized it had been broken into. The passenger side window was shattered and we had a long ride home. This disaster didn’t break our night. We were pissed and disappointed that it happened, but it didn’t deter us from planning the next GNO. This night was actually where it all began for me and it embedded such a priceless memory into my mind.

Here we are now, 8 years later. Since 2001 we have Continue reading