My Life in the Fat Lane

I have been on a diet since I was 13 years old.  A kid actually called me fat when I was a size 2 in Jr. High and ever since that moment I have been striving for a more perfect body. I have tried the following to lose weight over the last 17 years: Dexatrim, cabbage soup diet, slim fast, Metabolife, Xenadrine, Hollywood Diet, Weight Watchers, HCG, Atkins, Cayenne Pepper Cleanse, & the Isogenix Cleanse. I even  tried my “hand” at throwing up after I ate (due to a rapid weight gain in highschool). That lasted about a day. (Good thing I never committed to that method) Most of the diets I tried-worked, but I could only adhere to the them for 30 days at the most and then I’d go back to overeating. Since I graduated highschool I have ALWAYS worked out and to be honest, I love working out. I was a great, healthy weight throughout my 20’s, the sad thing was-I didn’t appreciate it and still thought I could spare to lose a few lbs.  I would give the nuts I don’t have to be at the weight I was in my 20’s.  I ranged from 128-138 throughout my early 20’s and 138-154 in my late 20’s.   My clothes always fit and when they started getting tight, I would endulge in 2 day Hollywood Diet to lose 6-10lbs. Maybe this is how I ffffed up my metabolism so horribly.

I am 2nd from the left, (Red Skirt & Striped Shirt) at 128lbs at 23 years old

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You Can’t Change Him or Her…

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My ex brought out the worst in me. In his defense, I was also a nut-job when I dated him. I was insecure and brought out the worst in him too. We weren’t right for each other, but we still spent 5 years trying to change each other. Towards the end of our relationship, it just wasn’t there anymore. Not only was I growing up, but it was an “a-ha” moment for me (Oprah reference). The ex was not the person who I was supposed to end up with….and it wasn’t because he was mean or a jerk; it was because I couldn’t change him and he couldn’t change me.We weren’t ourselves with each other, we didn’t like who the other person was. It sounds harsh, but I didn’t think he was evil or anything. Granted, we went through some pretty f-ed up times and he hurt me a lot (and I hurt him too). I think, looking back….that we were both responsible for those times. We were young…and when it was all said and done, I learned a great lesson.

I spent 5 years with someone during an important time of growth. From 15-20 years old, I was hiding the real me to please someone else.   I ditched out on girls night out, family time, highschool activities, concerts, dating other boys because Continue reading